There are actually two older bios here now.
Dave Barry is a humor columnist. For 25 years he was a syndicated columnist whose
work appeared in more than 500 newspapers in the United States and
abroad. In 1988 he won the Pulitzer Prize for Commentary. Many people
are still trying to figure out how this happened.
Dave has also written a total of 30 books, although virtually none of them contain useful information. Two of his books were used as the basis for the CBS TV sitcom "Dave's World," in which Harry Anderson played a much taller version of Dave.
Dave plays lead guitar in a literary rock band called the Rock Bottom Remainders, whose other members include Stephen King, Amy Tan, Ridley Pearson and Mitch Albom. They are not musically skilled, but they are extremely loud. Dave has also made many TV appearances, including one on the David Letterman show where he proved that it is possible to set fire to a pair of men's underpants with a Barbie doll.
In his spare time, Dave is a candidate for president of the United States. If elected, his highest priority will be to seek the death penalty for whoever is responsible for making Americans install low-flow toilets.
Dave lives in Miami, Florida, with his wife, Michelle, a sportswriter. He has a son, Rob, and a daughter, Sophie, neither of whom thinks he's funny.
1999 Dave Barry Biography
Dave Barry was born in Armonk, New York, in 1947 and has been steadily growing older ever since without ever actually reaching maturity. He attended public schools, where he distinguished himself by not getting in nearly as much trouble as he would have if the authorities had been aware of everything. He is proud to have been elected Class Clown by the Pleasantville High School class of 1965.
Barry went to Haverford College, where he was an English major and wrote lengthy scholarly papers filled with sentences that even he did not understand. He graduated in 1969 and eventually got a job with a newspaper named — this is a real name — the "Daily Local News," in West Chester, Pa., where he covered a series of incredibly dull municipal meetings, some of which are still going on.
In 1975 Barry joined Burger Associates, a consulting firm that teaches effective writing to businesspersons. He spent nearly eight years trying to get various businesspersons to for God's sake stop writing things like "Enclosed please find the enclosed enclosure," but he eventually realized that it was hopeless. So in 1983 he took a job at The Miami Herald, and he has been there ever since, although he never answers the phone. In 1988 he won the Pulitzer Prize for commentary, pending a recount. His column appears in several hundred newspapers, yet another indication of the worsening drug crisis.
In 1996 Barry married Michelle Kaufman, a sportswriter for the Miami
Herald. He has a son, Robert, who recently got his driver's license, which
should make everybody nervous.
Barry has written a number of short but harmful books, including Babies and Other Hazards of Sex and Dave Barry Slept Here: A Sort of History of the United States. His books, including Dave Barry Turns 50, Dave Barry is from Mars AND Venus, Dave Barry's Book of Bad Songs, Dave Barry in Cyberspace, Dave Barry's Complete Guide to Guys and Dave Barry Turns 40, have been hailed by the critics as "containing a tremendous amount of white space."
The CBS television series "Dave's World" was based on two of his books; the show has been canceled, but for the time being his life continues. Also, he set fire to a pair of underpants with a Barbie doll on national television and owns a guitar that was once played by Bruce Springsteen.