Recent Columns

Naked Came the Manatee: Chapter One

Saturday night, Coconut Grove. It was the usual scene: Thousands of people, not one of whom a normal person would call normal.

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Classic '95: A low blow

One of the guiding principles in my life has always been: "Never hang around with people who have access to both mixed drinks and dart-shooting weapons."

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The no-issues candidate

Several months ago I announced that I was willing to run for president of the United States and shoulder the immense crushing burden of accepting your cash contributions. Today I wish to reveal, in specific detail, exactly where I stand on the issues. Ready? Here goes:

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Classic '95: Return of the Lawn Rangers

It was Saturday night in the beer tent, which is where everybody goes after the day's festivities at the annual Broom Corn Festival in Arcola, Ill. A group of us guys were standing around, shouting snippets of conversation over the din of the band, when we saw a man's naked rear end advancing toward us through the crowd.


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Arrrrr! Talk like a pirate -- or prepare to be boarded
Every now and then, some visionary individuals come along with a concept that is so original and so revolutionary that your immediate reaction is: ''Those individuals should be on medication.'' … Click to Continue ».Read>>

For more recent columns, visit Dave's page at the Miami Herald.

Selected Columns 2008 - 2011


Dave Goes to the Conventions


1 - Eyeballs on the Prize
2 - There's a Party Going on Right He....shhhh!
3 - They Hear You Knockin'...But You Can't Come In

4 - The Feminine Mystique?
5 - Don't Fence Me In


1 - Mile-High Drama
2 - Denver - It's Not Easy Being Green
3 - The Floor Exercise
4 - Green Grow the Lileks
5 - The Great State of Whatever

Dave's Olympic Coverage

1 - Lost in Translation
2 - Is This Wall Great or What?

3 - Tastes Like Chicken

4 - Dave Gets Around
5 - A Night At The Opera
6 - The Name Game
7 - This Little Columnist Goes to Market
8 - Are You Ready to Rock and Roll?

9 - The City of Harmonious Harmony
10 - Beijing: It's Been Real

More 2008 Columns:

Dave and the Dolphins (June)

Miami Drivers (April)

Dave Hits the Silver Screen (April)

Dave Does His Taxes (April)

Florida's Presidential Primary - Voting Method (March)

Dave's World - The Colonoscopy (Feb.)

Florida's Presidential Primary - South Beach (Feb.)



For Classic columns see Dave's Herald column page

Book excerpts from I'll Mature When I'm Dead:

Health care

24 script

Miami and murder

The Inaugural Parade (2009)

Dave Covers The Super Bowl: Miami Visitors' Guide


A tiger escapes from Jungle Island

Dave goes On Safari

Dave goes to The World Cup

Dave does football (soccer)

Dave's 2010 Holiday Gift Guide (12/4)

Dave's 2010 Year In Review (1/2/11)


Dave smells a rat -- no, really - 2/12/11

Dave goes to a Barry Manilow concert

2010 Year in Review (1-1-11)