$19.95 plus shipping and handling from Great
Buy USA/Merchandise Center, P.O. Box 9243, Central Islip, N.Y. 11722-9885;
1-888-674-6296; Internet: www.greatbuyusa.com.
Suggested by Jennifer Mercuri of Port St. Joe.
This is the watch for the manly male hombre on your gift list.
It is a hefty hunk of alloy metal -- that's right, mister, ALLOY
metal -- made in China, a nation famous around the world for the
quantity of its watches. The advertisement for this product boldly
states: ``Similar watches sell for $39.95 or more!'' So you know
we are talking about craftsmanship.
But here is the best part: With this watch, when you want to
know what time it is, you pull a knob, which activates a hydraulic
piston mechanism, which raises a little cover, thus revealing
the watch face. In other words, this is an ACTION watch. This
is not some wussy little foo-foo girly-girl watch that, when you
want to know what time it is, you just look at it.
Yes, this is a timepiece that is bound to make a ``big impression''
on members of the female gender, as we can see by this actual
transcript of a simulated conversation in an imaginary singles
ATTRACTIVE WOMAN: Hi! Can you tell me what time it is?
MAN: I sure can! Watch this! (He activates his watch
pistons.) It's 8:37 p.m.!
ATTRACTIVE WOMAN: Wow! As a woman of the female gender,
I am impressed! Would you like to have carnal relations with me?
MAN: No thanks! I'm gonna play with my watch!
You will want to give this gift to every man on your holiday
list who needs visible proof of his manhood. Geraldo Rivera buys
these babies by the CASE.